Seriously, I don’t know if it’s my hormones from this pregnancy or if my perspective has just changed, but my emotions can be so eruptible these days. Let me explain…
For the past few weeks I’ve had an urge to watch Titanic. I have seen the movie literally hundreds of times and I’d realized it’d been quite a while since I’d watched it. It was my favourite movie for a while (until Notting Hill came along) and I can recite most parts word for word. So last night, I finally decided to put it on.
I could not stop crying. I am not talking about a few tears running down my cheeks, I am talking about all out sobbing and bawling. It was horrible. I know what happens in the movie and there are no surprises, but this time, I seemed to have a different perspective on parts of the movie. The parts that really got to my heart were basically every scene with a child “in peril.” Whether it’s the lady and the baby asking the captain where they should go, or the mother telling her kids a bedtime story, or the woman holding her son at the stern of the ship telling him it will be over soon. I simply could not handle it.
After some thought, through many more tears of course and talking it over with Peter, I think my reactions are different now because I am a parent. I understand how much it means to love a child and have that child love you in return. They are so innocent and in the face of tragedy, it’s their parents or even a grown up they look to for help and security. They don’t understand what is happening and what horrible things are in their future. They look to us grown ups to be taken care of. They put 100% of their trust in us as parents and we try so hard not to disappoint. I feel for the parents of any child who has to go through tragedy and unfortunately, sometimes it’s the parents who are involved or the cause the tragedy. I also saw Pete’s Dragon yesterday and I couldn’t stop myself from crying because of events that happened to Pete.
Anyway, being a parent is definitely the best thing I could have ever imagined for my life, even if it comes with excess emotions. I would never ever want to go back to life without kids. It is so fulfilling and rewarding. I know now that I would do anything for my Ezri and my baby-to-be. My job is to protect them and always put them first and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Well here is my first week in review post and it’s already a couple weeks old. HAHA. However, I wrote it and I still wanted to post it. I will probably learn how to organize and fine tune them eventually but fair warning that this one may be all over the place.
I had last weekend off from work as we had family in town so I only worked two days this past week. It was Stampede week and so it was BUSY! There wasn’t quite enough staff on either. At the end of each day my coworkers and I definitely agreed that we got beat up. Sad, but they were both great money making days. I also dressed up in western/stampede gear so I was definitely more hot than usual. Since my usual uniform isn’t very form fitting or flattering, my bump could be seen really well in my western clothes. I had many people commenting on my pregnancy. YAY
This week was busy and exhausting. We had family staying at our house and family at my Grandma’s house. My cousins and their 2 little girls were at our house and Ezri and the older daughter had a blast together!!! They played so much. It was the first time they met and they instantly clicked. The youngest daughter is 5 months and it was so refreshing to have baby blood in the house and to see how Ezri interacted with a smaller baby. Something to look forward to in a few months. I captured an adorable video of Ezri giving kisses to the baby. She was learning how to be gentle and it was precious.
Many eventful days this week. We went to the Stampede parade, went down to the stampede grounds and saw the grandstand show and the chuck wagon races. We wandered around the grounds but not too much as it was raining. It has been raining all week actually which is kind of a bummer. Ezri decided she didn’t want to walk anymore at the Stampede if someone was holding the leash to her backback. So she just lay down on the ground until we let it go. So funny.
My Mom and I both celebrated our birthdays this week so those were a couple more events to add to our busy list. We threw a surprise 60th birthday party for my Mom. It was great to organize but even greater because we decided to have it catered at a venue which meant no clean up or prep. Definitely the way to go for parties from now on, especially for this busy mama!
My family did a few other touristy things that I didn’t participate in because I was at work or had other plans. However it was wonderful to see everyone and especially to see the kids play together.
There was so much stimulation for Ezri this week that naps have been all over the place. Night sleep hasn’t been too bad, but it will be nice to get back into our normal routine.
I am officially stepping into my 21st week of pregnancy this week and so that means I am more than halfway through!! I am feeling great (except for a minor cough/cold) and I’ve even been feeling the baby move a whole bunch. It’s wonderful and I look forward to when Peter and maybe even Ezri can feel it. She still doesn’t even know what’s going on and may not understand until baby gets here.
We had our anatomy ultrasound and had decided not to find out the gender. We didn’t find out with Ezri and it was such a great surprise at the end of everything that we wanted to do it again. However, on impulse while at the scan, I decided to take our gender reveal envelope. I have had ZERO temptation to look at it. It hasn’t moved places since the day we got it and I honestly have no idea why I took it. I don’t want to know what this baby is until it’s ready to meet the world. I’m thinking we should just burn the envelope. Of course, I haven’t had the urge once to look at it so obviously it’s not that big of a temptation for me.
We still haven’t decided on a girl’s name and it might be another hard decision for us. Ezri didn’t have a name until a couple hours after she was born. It may happen again! So many options but to agree on one is the key. Our boy’s name has been set since before Ezri was born so we won’t have to worry if that’s the case.
I think that’s all for my week in review (from a few weeks ago). It was definitely a busy busy one and I’m looking forward to something a little less stressful this week!
I have officially entered my 29th year of life. I celebrated my birthday today with family and some delicious fondue (oil, broth & cheese). We have some relatives in town from Ontario for the week and it was amazing to be able to spend my special day with them.
We have so many plans this week including going to the Calgary Stampede tomorrow! It’s already been a busy past few days and the fun isn’t about to stop until next weekend.
I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve posted an update on this blog, but I sure get caught up in what I’m doing offline rather than writing about it here. Maybe I will write a few posts and have them ready to go in the next few weeks. I can always dream I will do it, right? Maybe a week in review thing like Cristina does. It gives me a good reason to blog each week.
Anyway, bed now because another big day of fun tomorrow!