That girl I used to know is back. That pathetic fat one. You know, the one I tried so hard to be rid of.
Today is one of those days where I just feel so BLAH and depressed. I have let my whole weight thing get way out of hand. I have gained more weight than I would like to admit and I just don’t know how to stop. I thought I had reached my lowest point, but I seem to keep digging deeper anyway. It’s a sad life when I stop at A&W for chicken fingers and fries for breakfast at 7:30 in the morning. I mean, what kind of normal person does that?! Why would I stoop to that level? Why am I sabotaging myself? I have so much regret.
I have a hatred for the gym right now too. I used to spend hours and hours there when I initially lost all my weight. I made it a priority and I didn’t mind, AT ALL. It was my release. I was able to have time to myself and it was wonderful. Why am I neglecting this to myself now? I have no answers and I don’t know how to stop.
If I don’t magically get back on the band wagon before Christmas (which is an even harder task), it is my intention to sign up for Weight Watchers again come January. It might be a little difficult at first as my Mom and I usually go together and she will be away for all of January. However, if she wants to, she can join me again in February when she is back from her vacation.
I mean what else can I do? Is there a magical method that will help me get back to eating right and exercising? Should I be taking pictures of every meal I consume? Should I create a food twitter and tweet every meal? What could be the solution to hold me accountable for what I put in my mouth?
I realize no one wants to read a blog about a pathetic fat girl who used to be fat then got skinny and then fat again. I’m sorry that I am posting this, but I really had to get it out. My clothes don’t fit and I feel awful. Ugh. Life is really hard when there are so many temptations out there.
The time has come to do something about it. Less talk and more action!
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