Annoy Your Public Bathroom Stallmate
Here are 19 ways to annoy your public bathroom stallmate. These came in a forward and so I did not write them.
  1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbour, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
  2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
  3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
  4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
  5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh no!! My glass eye!!"
  6. Say, "Darn, this water is cold."
  7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
  8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
  9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
  10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbour's while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
  11. Say, "Interesting...more sinkers than floaters!"
  12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbours. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
  13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!
  14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot!"
  15. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
  16. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your buttcheeks.
  17. Before you unroll toilet paper, consciously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
  18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbour and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
  19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free!"


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