Numb at Last

It has ended
You’re laughing with friends
I left early
You don’t notice I’m gone
I’m not coming back
You’re fine without me
Nobody carries my things
You couldn’t be happier
It’s raining outside
You’re better off without me
I’m standing out there
That’s what you tell yourself
I let myself be soaked
A huge smile is on your face
I don’t care anymore
You assume I’m okay
Two months have passed
You always do
I haven’t changed a bit
You’re having a great time
You’ve changed in every way
You don’t worry about me
I desperately want numbness
I don’t cross your mind once
Just to stop all the pain
You’re fine with them
Pain is all I find
There you can hide
I wail into the storm
No reminders
My tears become the rain
You don’t notice me
I collapse onto the road
No one notices me
My cries become the thunder
Look out the window
My hands cover my face
Sense that something is wrong
I am soaked and freezing
I beg you
No intention of moving
You don’t hear me
Raindrops pelt me
Blissfully immune
I wish they were rocks
You’re relaxing with them
Please God kill me now
Not a worry in the world
I beg this pain to go away
You never noticed anything out of place
It laughs in my face
You’re a fucking liar
I hear something behind me
You told me things that weren’t true
It gets louder
You hear it too
I weakly look up
You get up and wait for them
Blinding light shocks me
It illuminates my shadow inside
Panic becomes determination
You recognize my silhouette
I watch it approach
You cry my name
Finally
You try to run outside
The pain ends now
The doors are locked
Forever
You pound the glass
It’s too late
Shouting in vain
I stand up
The others look at me
My arms outstretched
They realize my intention
I open myself to the sky
They rush in horror to find an open door
I let myself be taken
You shove your way out of one
Screeching brakes fill my head
You sprint faster than ever before
Nothing else
Go ahead, try to save me
Sweet, sweet bliss
It’s too late
The impact breaks my body
You scream for me
Your voice is all I hear
I tumble along the road
Numb at last
I lay broken and battered
It’s about time
You collapse at my side
Euphoric feelings
You hold my body against your chest
I feel cold
You sob into my hair
It doesn’t matter
You don’t notice the others
Nothing matters anymore
You can’t believe what happened
It’s finally over
I’m gone
I got what I wanted
Forever
Peace
Rain floods my lifeless eyes
Bliss
It looks like I’m crying upside-down
Eternal tranquility
Your tears become the rain
My voice in the wind
Your cries become the thunder
My scent in the air
My blood stains your clothes
Nothing but a memory
You refuse to let me go
I blow away
Still soft in death
I dance in the clouds
Memories consume you
Sweet exhilaration
Pain shifts from dead to living
I feel nothing
You feel only agony
It has transferred
I’m not coming back
Numb at last