If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all!

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" The second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

A woman's prayer: "Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom to understand a man, to love and to forgive him, and for patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll just beat him to death!"

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their 9 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the 9 kids were able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk. He says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber on the end of your stick. That ticking sound is driving me crazy!" The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up!!"

___Back