January - Took new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

February - Was fired from the pharmacy job for failing to print labels. HELLO!!! The bottles wouldn't fit in the printer!

March - Got really excited, finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...and the box said "2-4 years!"

April - Got trapped on an escalator for hours because the power went out.

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid but had the wrong instructions. 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.

June - Tried to go water skiing but couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition. I learned the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!

August - Got locked out of my car in a rain storm. The car was swamped because the soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is a "C," isn't it??!

October - I hate m and M's because they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked the turkey for 4 1/2 days. The instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weight 108!

December - Couldn't call 911. DUH! There is no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!

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